Labels.

We all wear labels in life. Whether we want to admit it or not, we do. We wear labels of friend, lover, wife, husband, daughter, mother, father, boyfriend, girlfriend, and many, many more. We can admit it or not, but when introducing someone, or addressing something, we use labels. So why are they so disliked in the style of life we live. Or are they necessary in determining the lines in which we live.

I have had discussions with people of late about labels and how they have the idea that they allow preconceived notions to settle in. I don't really believe that. I think they help determine who is right for whom, and how to proceed. I believe without them, there are no lines, no factors on which to base needs/desires/wants on. I am not talking about checklists, I am talking about labels, the determining factors on who we are, what we are, what we live. I live a Master/slave relationship, I have a Lover, I have a Friend, I have a TPE, I have a relationship. But if I would just announce that I am in a relationship that is not defined it would mean that the space would be too large for me.

I am one that needs labels, needs those defining lines to be drawn and the rules in which that follow. Even tho in all of that the only label I really need now is, "The Bastard's" and whatever he determines my rules, my lines, my boundaries, to be. But within that, the labels were needed at the start.

On the forums I belong to I have noticed that there are many labels, after all you have to check off boxes to belong, you have to define yourself in so many ways. And after you define yourself then others find you by those defining labels and groups are formed, discussions built, relationships matched up. Even the ones who bitch and moan about labels, they still use them. Be it kinkster, lifestyler, player or whatever, still use labels.

There used to be a get together in Chicago that I went to many years ago, and they would give you a sticky label when you entered and you had not only to put your name on it, but what defined you, Dominant, slave, submissive, Master, Top, bottom, whatever and that was interesting to meet people and see what label they attached to themselves. And then I found myself studying them to watch their behavior, and would often find some interesting observations. Kind of the same thing on the forums. I have seen one couple that defines themselves as Goreans, Master and slave, only she acts like the "Top" and nothing like a slave. I have seen another label herself as a submissive only to know her and think to myself, "brat". Am I being judgemental, not really. I am just going off by what they put as their own labels and if they act as they have stated. Or if what they have defined meets that particular label.

Another is people ask all the time what is the difference between a submissive and slave, a Master and a Dominant. What is a TPE, what is IE, what is Gorean, what is this, what is that. So people do need labels, or want labels or put labels to their own self, or within what they live to determine who they are, what they are, and what they live. How could we not and say we are searching for this, looking into that part of the lifestyle, or just introducing ourselves to others within those realms, within those labels. How important are labels in your life? Do you think they limit you? Or allow you to live in defined needs/wants/desires?

Do I have one label in my life, nope, I have many different ones, but I have one that is defining for me and it works, "The Bastard's." He defines me. He makes me who I am, the complete package. He completes me. I live in his labels, his definitions of what we live, and how we live it. Perhaps for some that might be too limiting, but for me it is my freedom.

Life goes on.......