Wednesday, November 11, 2009

HNT. Reasoning.


The last in a series of 'surrender'.

"All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling." ~Blaise Pascal~
Happy HNT!!!!


And don't forget to check out Os...........



45113638_202b79dc11 And of course the OTHER HNT!



the-otherhnt

Life goes on....................

Middle of the Week Musings & Happy Veteran's Day.



Happy Hump Day & Happy Veteran's Day!!


"Four things support the world: the learning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the good, and the valor of the brave”~Muhammad~


I would like to take the time to wish all Veteran's a Happy Veteran's Day, thank you for serving our Country, thank you for your dedication, and thank you for your service. You have made our world a better place. You have made life better for us all. Our flag was out all day today and as I was sitting on the front porch smoking I looked at that flag and thought of what it represented, FREEDOM! And for that I am thankful. I am thankful that there are men and women who can fight & defend our country such as those that do. And also for those that have lost their lives in that very same.
God Bless you all.
Whew!!! Middle of the week, and almost the weekend. Diva Queen has been sick all week, not sure if it is the swine flu, but nonetheless sick. Why is it that my 19 year old daughter acts like she is 2 years old when sick. And 'mommy' has to take care of her like she is 2. Even The Bastard has pitched in with her care. He is like the ever watchful 'dad'. Making sure her fever didn't reach the dangerous level, or this and that. Kind of cute when you watch the two of them together, he is always in the background watching over all of us.
He has three boys from a previous marriage, and told me that he always wished for a daughter. *laughs* It is truly one of those, "Be careful what you wish for!" kind of things! He got one, even grown she is a pain! Hence her nickname, Diva Queen! She is and then some! He takes care of her car, and on and on. When something needs fixed, she goes to him. He is like the 'dad' she really never had a chance to have. Wish us luck that she is on her way to a speedy recovery!
The rest of the news this week so far.............hmmm..........
Let's leave it at...............
Life goes on....................

Monday, November 9, 2009

Substance.


Substance is something I crave. Substance is something I need. And I am not talking about that kind of substance that fills you up to the point you couldn't eat another bite. I am talking about life substance. About the kind of substance that I need in my universe. I am talking about the 'meat' of the matter. That type of substance that clings inside and fills me up. I have needed that type of substance way before I realized what it was/is. And once I did, I knew that I had to have even more. I think it goes even deeper than a base need, it goes to this desperate quiet place inside that brews and bubbles away until it is fed. That need goes to the core of who I am. Kind of hard to put into words, but I know that I must have 'it'. Without it I do not thrive. Without it I kind of wither inside but yet at the same time, it boils more to the point of boiling over and turning into an obsession.
I am talking about the core inside me that needs that power exchange, that need to be mastered, that need to be made complete. For most of my life I have heard something similar to, "You don't need a man to be happy." Wanna bet! I do, and will dispute that. For years that has made me feel like a freak because I do and desperately. I have heard it from my mother, my sister, family, friends, and just plain in general. Can I live on my own? Can I support myself? Can I raise children all alone? Yes, and I have. But there is one part that did not feed me in all that. Where was the substance. Where was that deep seated need fed. It wasn't and therefore I was not complete.
The Bastard and I were talking the other day about this, and how my 'need' came to be. For as long as I remember I have had that need. I can remember formulating ideas in my head at an early age of what I needed in that and even then I felt like a freak. I learned that it did not fit in with the other girls I hung with. They wanted marriage and I wanted so much more. Some of them wanted to go off and be independent. After all I was raised in the 60's and 70's were women's lib was just coming into play. Burning bras and all that and I would hear these rants about how NO women needed a man to make her happy. I wanted to stand up and shout, "WRONG!" but in my quiet journey, I didn't.
I was married the first time at 18, but only because I was dumb and got pregnant. That sure didn't last long, because there was no substance to it. He fed none of my needs. A couple more failed relationships and then I took a stand. I wasn't going to settle anymore. I started to search out men that I assumed were powerful in their own rights and through one of them I found an alternative lifestyle. One that showed me men were the leaders, and women were the followers. Oh boy, there was substance in that! That was something I had searched for my entire life. And it fed me. I wanted/needed more and more.
But for a long time it was like living a double life. The outside world kept up their harping about women are equal to men and my world preached that women were not. I felt tugged and pulled in many different directions. I had a powerful job where women were basically equal and I was in charge of men. But in my private life I would dig my fork into the substance and hang on for dear life. I was fighting to be fed that substance. And that is when the desperation would come. How in the heck did I find that balance. I made check lists, I put labels to people. I had my own risk factor chart.
And trust me, I made plenty of mistakes along the way. I ended up with men who couldn't dominate their way out of a paper bag, I met abusers. I met men who were very dominant but yet at the same time, didn't fulfill those needs. For one reason or another. But I learned, I learned how to refine my lists, and my labels. I learned how to define myself. I learned what would feed me and what would not. Not once did that desperate need go away to find that one that could feed me and make me complete. I needed substance and had to find a way to be fed. The journey has been interesting and knowledgeable and full of passion and learning, but always an end goal in sight.
I have learned to put those voices of the outside world away. I have learned that if my needs are not met, I am going to have them met, one way or another. I have learned that if those needs of long ago are not met with my expectations, I will move on until they are. I used to wonder if that made me shallow, until I realized they are needs for a reason. You can squash them down inside, but you can never remove them. They are just as important to me as the food I eat. They nourish me, they give me substance.
Life goes on.................

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

HNT. Surrender.

Evanescence: "Surrender"
Is this real enough for you.
You were so confused.
Now that you've decided to stay.
We'll remain together.
You can't abandon me.
You belong to me.
Breathe in and take my life in you.
No longer myself only you.
There's no escaping me,
my love
Surrender
Darling,
there's no sense in running.
You know I will find you.
Everything is perfect now.
We can live forever.
You can't abandon me.
You belong to me.
Breathe in and take my life in you.
No longer myself only you.
There's no escaping me,
my love
Surrender.
Hands up slowly.
Give into...
Breathe in and take my life in you.
No longer myself only you.
There's no escaping me,
my love
Surrender.
Surrender.
Surrender.
Surrender.
You will surrender to me.
There's no escaping from me.
I know you want her to be.
You must surrender to me.





Don't forget to check out OS!!!..................





45113638_202b79dc11 and the other HNT..........................



the-otherhnt

Life goes on.................

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Drum roll please..................Contest Winner!!!

Are you ready? Drum roll please................


The winner of our contest is............First.........I will give you what I promised, my most embarrassing sexual moment.....well one of them.......I am not nicknamed "Lucy" because I have red hair!

I always seem to get into messes, if there is a way that I can get into a mess, trust me, I will find it!! And sex has been pretty much the same way. All kinds of "sex"capades!

But one that sticks out most in my mind is:

Wait, let me set the stage.........

I was summoned to his house one dark and stormy night. He told me that I was to take my black leather trench coat and wear nothing underneath and be there at the stroke of midnight. I hurried to do his bidding, showered, shaved and prepared myself for him. As usual I was running late and was also supposed to stop and pick up a bottle of wine. Not for the actual wine, but was going for the humiliation factor, hoping to set me up to be humiliated, prancing around with only my black leather trench coat on and nothing underneath. I sorta knew how his brain worked, or thought I did, so instead of stopping for wine, I grabbed a bottle I had in the rack, buying myself some more time.

I arrived at his house five minutes early! I was so proud of myself and when he answered the door I noticed that he had set his own stage. Candles glowed in the background, the fire's embers burned with their orange and red shadows. He looked dashing as always and when I entered he gave me a kiss that made my toes curl, and as he led me further inside, I found the coat shedding as if it had a mind of its own, leaving me bare pressed against him. He accepted the wine from my trembling fingers to place it down on the table, and in his low growling voice asked me if I was hungry. I replied with a weak no and he led me further into his house, deep into the dark recesses, down the hallway and into his bedroom.

He placed me on my back on his bed, the black velvet bedspread caressing my backside, and his hands caressing my front. Pale flesh pebbled with goosebumps and dusky nipples turned into hard peaks. Black silks scarves snaked around my wrists and ankles as I lay there in his trance. A matching scarf was placed around my eyes and one around my face, to render me completely in his mercy. I had no vision, no mobility, no voice other than the muffled moans and groans driving up from my desires.

His fingers wrapped around my thighs like steel, his mouth descended down to the juncture between those thighs and his tongue started to work its magic on the velvet wetness. My moans increased and I started to writhe in whorish delight. The approaching orgasms raged within me and sent shivers rippling up and down my spine, the ecstasy mounted. The orgasms shook me over and over, one ending, another building until all I saw were the white lights. And then it all stopped and in my foggy brain I heard his laughter. I tried to bolt up but to no avail. The blindfold was snatched away from my eyes and I blinked until he came into my sight.

My green eyes met his dark ones and the smirk on his face send chills inside. His voice still held mirth as he whispered, a fistful of hair in his clutches. "I hope you enjoyed that orgasm bitch, because that will be the last one you have for a while. At least until you clean up my bed and yourself!" My mouth gaped open wondering what he was talking about. I figured that I had squirted in release I could feel the soggy wetness between my legs, and puddling underneath my ass.

"Yes Sir!" was my only reply.

His laughter bellowed out of his mouth. "You peed my bed you whore!"

I turned all shades of red and was set free to go and try to save some sense of pride, knowing I was fighting a losing battle.



I want to thank those that sent me your entries here on my blog and in emails. Unfortunately there can only be one winner and now for that drum roll......

The winner is:

Morning Glory


Thank you Sugar for participating, and would you please send me your address to my email to claim your prize. Those delightful vibrating thong panties!!


Life goes on..............

Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween! Get your treat here! CONTEST!!!



CONTEST!!! Scroll down and don't forget to enter my contest!!! All you have to do is ENTER!!! Well and tell your most embarrassing sexual moment!

Come on now, you can do it!!! We have already had some entries!! And a winner will be picked tomorrow, on Halloween!!! And on Sunday, I will announce the winner, and tell one of my most embarrassing sexual moments!!



CONTEST!!! CONTEST!!! CONTEST!!! CONTEST!!!



And http://www.babeland.com/ is also offering you a treat!!! At the bottom of my page is the link to http://www.babeland.com/ and if you place an order on Halloween, THEY will give you a free treat! Go and check it out!!





Hurry and gets yours today!!
Happy Halloween!!!!
Life goes on.....................

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

HNT! TRICK or TREAT!



"Trick or Treat"


That's okay, take a peek........


Inside my purple pumpkin............


And see what kind of 'treats' I am getting.












45113638_202b79dc11 Make sure you check out OS!!!




And don't forget ..........the-otherhnt









Have a safe and happy Halloween!!!





Life goes on............................